This heart breaking interview was granted to Azuka Jebose Molokwu of Punch.
''For more than thirty
years, Rita Fashek and her famous reggae music legend, Majek Fashek,
were soulmates until drugs and alcohol addiction destroyed that dream.
Rita said Majek got hooked to drugs and alcohol which she said ruined
their marriage and fractured a once famous and successful family. “ I
thought we would live together forever; but as we grew into different
rhythms of life’s challenges, I discovered that forever was not enough
time to spend with him.”
The
melodies of Majek’s daily dependence on drugs and alcohol were dictating
the steps of this once upon a romantic dance that began in the ancient
Benin Kingdom where they met as secondary school interns.
“Majek
and I met at a holiday job camp. We were both hired as interns and
something in both of us stirred as we worked together as summer interns.
Soon after we met, we fell in love in great ancient Bini kingdom; that
was before he became famous. We were so much in love. I became pregnant
shortly after marriage and we had Randy. One year after Randy was born,
we had another child. I never thought I would divorce Majek. No one
knows tomorrow. The future is uncertain. Only God knows the future… I
love him, but I am no longer in love with him.”
This year, Rita turned her years of hurt and pain around as she left him.
“I have
remarried and I am moving on with my life. Jebose, when things don’t go
right, what do you do? I am tired of waiting for Majek. I have been
living for years, alone, lonely and with my children, waiting for him to
come home. I waited all these years; his brothers never cared. No
member of his family reached out to me. I am not getting any younger. I
decided to move on. Majek abandoned the children and me for so long, too
long.”
You
could feel the pains in her voice as she spoke passionately about a man
she still loves, despite everything: a man she would sacrifice and do
anything for to encourage him to seek help with his severe addictions to
drugs and alcohol. “I am no longer Majek’s wife. I love him. But I am
not in love with him. Majek is a wonderful man. I am worried and
concerned about his life these times. He had been on this drug
dependency for over 15 years. We have three children; Randy is 30, Seun
is 24 and our last boy is 12. My children were denied affection of a
father by his illness and addiction. I have been the sole provider and
single mother of our household in the past 15 years since he chose this
lifestyle and walked away from us.
“I
don’t know what went wrong with Majek. I may never know. He is deep into
substance abuse. I discovered his dependency on drugs and alcohol after
the birth of our second son, Seun. He would leave the house and return
stoned, ultra-happy and erratic. The signs began to manifest that Majek
was on drugs. I was scared and didn’t want to believe it. But everyday
then, he continued to plunge into serious drugs and alcohol
experimentation. They became normal recreation for him.
This
behaviour wasn’t right. So one morning, I checked him into one of the
hospitals in New York. This was 12 years ago. The hospital treated his
addiction problems and he responded to treatment, briefly.
“Days
after he was released from the treatment facility in New York, he was
back on track on substance abuse. He reconnected with his neighborhood
friends and suppliers. Majekodunmi would leave home for days and return
to our apartment, soaked in dirt and oozing of alcohol, behaving
erratically, commanding and trying to control us.
He took
his musical instruments and sold them for drugs or pawned some so as to
get money to feed his desire for alcohol. I tried to shield the
children from his life but sometimes it was difficult, especially when
he lived, partly and by his choice, with us in our New York apartment.
He went and came randomly, never cared about how we survived. One day,
he came home and said, “Rita, I am going back home in Nigeria, take care
of my children.” He walked away and never came back, until I came to
Nigeria two years ago to help him get treatment. Majek doesn’t have any
money.
I
worked very hard to support my children and him. That was what his
addiction did to him and to our family. He was seen everywhere in New
York drunk, sometimes sleeping on the floor of subway stations as he
waited for the train home. When he returned home, I would cook, clean
and feed him.
“I had
to take care of him. He was my husband and also the father of my
children. He was sick and his family abandoned us. Before the illness,
he was a wonderful man. Majek’s heart is a pot of platinum. He is a very
kind and loving person. He was a great husband and lover. He cared very
much for the children and I. We felt his essence of fatherhood and
husband whenever he was sober. Majek did everything for me.
He took
care of me and treated me like a superstar. These were the days when he
was successful and a superstar in Nigeria’s music scene. Whenever he
went on music tour of Europe, Majek would buy us boxes of clothes and
everything else. Majek was the best husband any woman could ever dream
of. He was the best husband to me. He was a charming lover. But his
alcoholism and drugs addiction denied us his love, care and humanity.
“I have
been staying alone for years with our children. He abandoned us. The
children are grown now. I divorced Majek three months ago. I had to move
on with my life. I am not getting any younger. I have remarried.
“My
ex-husband is an alcoholic. I don’t know how to help him. I did
everything to make him get help. Only God can help Majek. But we must
not stop trying to make him seek the right treatment.
“I
don’t regret marrying Majek. No hard feelings. He was always there for
us. I thought this journey with him would last forever, but I am tired
of being lonely, alone and abandoned. I will do anything and everything
to help him get well. Two years ago, I came to Nigeria to get help for
Majek. I encouraged him to go with me to a treatment facility I found in
Badagry, in the outskirts of Lagos. He agreed and I got him admitted
and I paid for his treatment. He was responding to treatment. Few weeks
into the treatment, this lady that claimed to be his manager, came to
the treatment centre, had sex with him and convinced Majek to check out of the facility. He did.
I cried
when he called and told me that he had checked out with his manager. I
spent so much money to get him treatment. She doesn’t care for Majek. My
ex-husband needs help. I plead with Nigerians to help us as we begin
another attempt to rescue him from the streets of Lagos and from his
addictions to substance abuse. It will require money to put him in a
professional treatment facility; hence we have set up an appeal fund to
help raise money for Majek’s treatment.”
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